Putting your aging parents' wishes first

Long version

As your parents grow older, it may be time to talk with them about financial and aging issues, which may involve difficult conversations. 

You’ll want to be careful how you approach this. Mention ahead of time that you’d like to talk to them about their future plans and reassure them that you want to understand their wishes, so their affairs will be taken care of as they would like.

If your parents are agreeable, choose a comfortable location and ask whom to invite (or not invite). Then, think about how to open the conversation, preferably not with what they want to do with their money, as this could be interpreted as your seeking information about your inheritance or being skeptical about their financial decisions. Instead, build a broader discussion about their vision for their aging years. A series of shorter conversations may allow you to cover topics more comfortably rather than trying to solve everything at once. 

Try to address these areas:

  • Health care – Seek to learn whether your parents have established appropriate health-related legal documents such as a health care power of attorney, which gives someone the authority to make decisions about their medical care if they become unable, and a living will, which spells out the extraordinary medical treatments they may or may not want.
  • Independence – As people age, they may begin to lose their independence. Have your parents considered options for long-term care, such as an assisted living community, a nursing home or a home health aide? If they plan to receive support from family members, do your parents’ expectations match yours?
  • Financial goals – Focusing on the personal and financial aspects of the legacy your parents want to leave can be a valuable conversation. Have they updated their will or other estate documents, such as a living trust? Have they created a durable power of attorney for a trusted family member to make financial decisions for them if they become incapacitated? Do they have the proper beneficiary designations on their insurance policies, retirement plan and bank accounts? If you position these issues around your parents having control over transferring their assets, rather than curiosity over “who will get what,” you’ll more likely have a productive conversation.
  • Last wishes – You’ll want to learn whether your parents have instructions in their will about their funerals and last wishes. Express that you or another close family member should know who is responsible for making sure their wishes are met in a timely fashion. 

Money, independence and aging can be sensitive topics. You don't have to go it alone, though — enlist help from another close family member. Or, if your parents work with an attorney, financial professional or other trusted advisor, consider asking if they’re interested in having them participate in your talks. You might even be able to introduce your parents to one of your advisors.

In any case, keep talking. These conversations can be challenging, but if handled correctly can be of great benefit to your parents and your entire family.

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones financial advisor.
Edward Jones, Member SIPC

Word count: 502

Short version

As your parents grow older, it may be time to talk with them about financial and aging issues.

Position these conversations to honor their plans and understand their wishes, so their affairs will be taken care of as they would like.

First, consider health care. Find out if they have limits on medical care and appropriate legal documents, like a health care power of attorney.

Another subject: independence. Have they thought about the need for long-term care?

Also, ask if they have updated wills, revocable trusts and durable powers of attorney, so a trusted person can make financial decisions if they become incapacitated.

Finally, have they left instructions in their will about their funeral preferences?

These are sensitive subjects, but you can get help from other family members or a trusted legal or financial professional.

By raising these issues with your parents, you can help avoid unpleasant surprises — and maybe even create some peace of mind for your family.

This content was provided by Edward Jones for use by (FA’s NAME), your Edward Jones financial advisor at (Branch address or phone #).

Member SIPC

Words: 159 (excluding FA’s name, address/phone number)